Chunky Monkey is 4 months

So its been 4 months since the birth of my daughter Leah Ashleigh-Louise Baylis. I cannot believe how fast time has gone by and how much of a little person she is becoming. Its so incredible how they develop.. eyes starting to track objects, hands opening more, first smile, first laugh, first time rolling over... Its just amazing! I read the books and they say, at this age they should be doing this... and right on Que she starts doing it... and it makes me so proud.

Id say the first 3 months are defiantly the hardest! The constant crying and the panic of not knowing why they are crying. Its takes you a good few months to figure out the different cries and their wants and needs. You are just getting to know one another and getting use to having a child relying on you for everything... its really quite overwhelming!

My little monkey... or should I say big monkey (shes quite large for her age), is progressing really well. Her first to wellness visits at the clinic she was above her age group for weight and length, but now she is back on the bar which makes me feel better. Even though they say breastfed babies cannot over feed, and because I breastfeed exclusively its not my fault shes so big, it has made me feel sad when people go on about how fat she is:( She has HUGE rolls all over... my little Rolly Polly girl... oh well once she starts crawling I'm hoping she will shrink a little:P

She has started singing... it is just the cutest thing as its very out of tune! hehe... We have a little ritual for bed and nap times... left thumb in mouth, right hand clutching blankey, in the papoose(which is far to Small for her now) and then I sing a lullaby my Granny and Mom use to sing for us. And recently she sings along... and I cnt help but chuckle to myself because its just so adorably cute! Leah loves to smile... at everything and anything! She laughs more when shes tired, but gets into little fits of hysteria when I blow air onto her tummy or kiss her neck:)

I am so overwhelmed with love for my child and cannot imagine my life without her! Shes a blessing, a joy, a pleasure and Im treasuring every moment I get to spend with her!

Oh my goodness.... time flies

I cannot believe Ive let this blog get so out of date!!! My babies arrived and nearing 4 months this Saturday:) Well, I would now say it definitely takes about 4 months to settle into motherhood. This month seems to be the first time literally I have had time to sit and take a breather and write... or do anything for that matter!

So, Leah's journey into this world wasn't as difficult as I thought it was going to be. I was in early labour for 18 hours. It started 13hoo on November 18th, and by 6am the next morning I decided it was time to go to the hospital. My contractions never really got closer together or started a nice pattern... they were very sporadic and so we even stopped off at Ihop for pancakes and bacon (which you aren't suppose to do)!!! I was admitted at 11hoo Friday the 19th November at Citizens Medical Center. I remember being super excited and super scared... not sure I was actually ready to meet my little girl after all that waiting!

I has my water broken and started some patocin! I started to push around 17hoo, and after 30mins they decided to vacuum my baba out as she was kinda stuck - can you say Painful? ARGH... they had turned my epidural off so I could feel everything on my rhs!!! Anyways... the next contraction came and literally out popped Leah! To my utter shock and to everyone elses this child was 9.6 pounds!!! Thats 4.3 kgs! I remember looking at her in the Doctors arms... this giant, purple squishy thing... and not quite grasping the reality of the whole situation. This was in fact my baby, the child I had grown and nurtured for the last 9 months of my life.. this was my creation... a part of me, my mother and her mother:) This was my Leah... I had waited my whole life for that moment... I was breathless.

I will never forget the feeling I felt when holding her for the first time and having her curl her little fingers around my finger. I was utterly petrified leaving the hospital!!! Taking my precious baby out into the world and back home to the farm. Life for the first few weeks was hectic.. the sleepless nights (max 3 hours), the excessive crying, the constant attention she needed... boy, was I unprepared for parenthood. It doesn't matter how much they try to prepare you, or how many books you read... until you have lived it... you'll never fully understand or be ready! My Uncle Ray came down for a week and was a huge help and support. Then my sister Rachel came over for 2 weeks... my goodness... I honestly don't know what I would have done without her. She was my slave for those 2 weeks... getting me water, making me food, cleaning my room, watching Leah while I bathed and did simple things like brush my teeth and did washing... lol.

Then 12 Jan I left for Cape Town... 10 hour flight to Germany, 12 hour layover, another 10 hours flight to Joberg and then finally 2 hours to Cape Town! What a trip... and what a journey to get to where I am now... motherhood here I come!!

I will def do a special on the first 4 months and how she is doing really soon... and of coarse post updated pics. This is all I can afford to do for now xxx

still waiting ... almost 40 weeks now

I cannot believe I have been pregnant for almost 40 weeks of this year already! Close approaching my due date and all I can do is give my baby a pep talk every morning about how life on the outside is better (sounds like shes in prision) hehe:) I jiggle my tummy and pat it while chanting over and over... 'Its time to come out now Leah'... in the hopes that this will bring on the contractions... sadly nothing yet!

I met my delivery docter on tuesday, which was wonderful. Her name is Dr Seiler and she really is a nice lady! I am already 2 cms and baby has dropped... so lots of pressure! I wake up every morning with this great excitment... like christmas morning just hoping today will be the day... I dream about her at night wondering what she will look like, sounds like, be like!

I am so ready for this child is unbelievable! I would never have thought I would feel this way and be where I am now 4 months ago when things were so utterly depressing and dark! I have grown so much as a person and learnt so much! I have overcome this challenge and come out the otherside a strong, confident and possitive Mother! I am proud of myself and I know that oneday when I tell my daughter the journey of these 9 months she will be proud of me too!

Now all I can say is 'hurry up little one, Mommy wants to meet you'

My tummy progress

6 Months along - 26 weeks

7 Months along - 31 weeks

33 weeks

8 Months along - 36 weeks

Random Art

My art is a medium to release my emotions and experiences. Each piece tells a story and has a memory. I have had a very tough 2 years and these drawings are what helped me stay sain.

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Misery - illustrations

I have this journal that I have had for 2 years, and Im always doodling and drawing in it. A year ago I created this one piece, and from that a whole series of drawings emerged. I want to make it into a book without words... leaving it up to the readers imagination I guess. The end drawings arent done yet, might even take some out and add some others. The photos of the drawings arent very high quality and they havnt been edited or anything... just felt like sharing them.

Late Introduction

I wasn't quite sure how to start this blog, and once I had started I realised I hadn't introduced myself or even really set the stage at all. Hmmm... where to begin? I am a 23 year old South African who moved to America this year March. Usually I would be defined by something else... most probably art... as I have my diploma in Graphic design and would consider myself kinda creative:P But these days I am defined by something totally different... I am a soon to be Mother... being 35.5 weeks pregnant with my first baby.

Its been a HUGE challenge... one I didn't expect to go through in these circumstances at least. I am currently living with my father and step Mom in Texas... we moved 3 months ago from beautiful Baltimore, Maryland! The weather has been incredibly hot... hitting the mid 40s most days and being pregnant in that heat... man oh man, it was bad! We have been in the process of getting a mobile home since we arrived, and were staying in a tent for the past 3 months... how I managed to not break down and sink into a spiralling hole of depression Im not quite sure! All I can say is that I relieved we finally got the house... and let me tell you that its the little things in life you really miss. For example: a flushing toilet, a basin to wash your hands in, hot water to have a bath, air-conditioning... and a proper bed!

So besides all the dramas that came with living in a tent... frogs jumping on me at night, finding a snake under the bed, the unforgiving heat and Tropical Storm Hermine, I also found out that I couldn't stay in the country longer than a year and I couldn't work. With the help of some wonderful ladies I met at the Pregnancy Crisis Center and the Gabriel Project, I have been able to get prenatal care, materials for the baby, and been able to register for the labour and delivery at a wonderful hospital in town. Also my family and friends around the world have sent me parcels and basically supplied me with clothes for the first 3 months of this babies life... I feel so overwhelmed and blessed to have this much support.

I have been waiting my whole life to become a mother, and even though this isn't the ideal situation, every baby is a blessing and a gift from God... and I cannot wait to start my adventures with my little leah. I know I have the experience... and I defiantly have the love and determination to raise her well!

These days I am getting really big and wobbling around the house, feeling rather emobile due to leg cramps and back ache:( But not much longer now and I can take this pregnant suit off and say hello to my old body... who I miss more and more everyday! I am moving back to SA in Feb and really looking forward to seeing everyone again. So, I think that set the stage well... you now know a little more about me and where Ive been... now just to wait and see where we end up:)

This is the tent I lived in for 3 months...

And this is our beautiful house now:)